Wednesday, 28 March 2012

I want to be a supermum, don't be hating!

Hi, I'm Beatrix, nice to meet you . 

Life is pretty awesome, but I want more.

Is there anything wrong with wanting to try to have it all?

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but now my daughter is almost ten months old, I'm looking for work because I want to earn some money to put us into a more secure financial situation. I'm trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy size 8 from a post-pregnancy size 18 (I'm a 10 - 12 now, so I'm getting there!). I'm hoping to resume studying part-time , because I want to be the best role model for her that I can be. I want to have fun with less “stuff” and more meaningful conversations and play. In short, I want it all.

Is it really not realistic to want your life to be the way you want it to be? Sure, no one's life is perfect, but let's be realistic – even if you have your ideal lifestyle, there will still be times when you feel stressed out by work, upset at not spending enough time with your baby/partner/family/friends, too busy, or too tired, but all of this comes with the parenting package. I am fortunate enough to have a supportive partner, who wants to be a stay-at-home dad, at least some of the time, which will allow me to do all the various things that I think are important to my personal health and well-being.

This is my partner, Dave. He makes music, a webcomic [under construction at the moment!], and is one of those amazing men who listens, cooks, and loves looking after our daughter.

Visualisation of what you want is a key tool to achieving the life you want. I know that the life I have planned for myself will leave me with little free time, but all my time will be filled with achieving my goals: Family, Work, Exercise, Mental Stimulation, Food, Creativity. These are my six pillars of happiness! All of these things will constantly be varying in their demands, and the aim is to keep them as balanced as possible. If I can manage this, there will be satisfaction coming from feelings of true self-worth. I like feeling like I am trying my hardest, and this is a quality I definitely want to pass on to Indigo, so I will lead by busy, positive example!

A full schedule stops me from being bored, which causes me to mooch. Mooching is a killer of passion, creativity, inspiration, conversation and energy. The less free time I have, the happier I am. This doesn't mean I don't relax, but I relax best when I plan for it! Dave, Indigo and I walk a few kilometres every day with our Basset Hound, Trilby. We take him to the beach and throw a ball around for him, and most of the time he finds kids and dogs to talk to and play with. We have a great time as a family, and it is incredibly inspiring and relaxing!

I don't think there is anything wrong with all of this. In fact, I'm sick of being told to cut myself slack. I thrive on pushing myself forward, so all these well-meaning articles I see telling people not to want to better themselves upsets me. Maybe the writer is suffering from burn-out, but there is a definite positive to being busy rather than having lots of time to relax, but not necessarily needing or wanting to do so. 

Maybe I'm a bit mad. 

What's wrong with wanting to be the best person you can be?


  1. If you are happy, then there's nothing to worry about. Those articles are mostly written with the thought that people often think that they can "make" themselves happy by being busy. I personally find that if I am too busy for too long, I don't have time to do what truly makes ME happy: taking deep breaths, feeling the wind, chatting without a clock, and relaxing with my family.

    That said, I find myself super busy lately. 3 children with 3 different life stages and interests, a husband with active interests, and myself with expanding interests... there are few dates on our calendar that are empty. And that KILLS ME. Having to schedule down time doesn't allow for spontaneity, IMHO.

    Your daughter is adorable. Enjoy these sweet, all-too short days...

  2. I totally understand - I'm a busy person by nature, and not getting any time out will drive anyone insane! I guess I'm calling for a redefinition of the term "supermum" - one that encompasses our need for time out without feeling guilty, and makes us feel good instead of making us think of all the things as a parent that we're not! I believe that if we all think that we're Superparents, we'll do a better job just as a matter of course. I know if I feel like a great parent, I'm more likely to make positive parenting choices.

    Anyway I think I got off topic there?! Glad you're enjoying reading the blog and looking at the Indy pictures! xo